Closing Doors

 **Warning slightly depressing but whats on my heart and mind**

*read at your own risk*

This week has been a rough one. There have definitely been highs to this week but also many lows. With coming back from camp and getting back into normal life its been pretty boring and a bit depressing. On top of that though I've had many doors close in my face or hit me in the butt on the way out. After many months of our dogs digging, jumping fences, and spending every moment of their lives trying to escape our yard we (mom and dad) decided it would be best for our sweet dogs, my baby girl, to find a new home. I left for camp saying goodbye to my sweet puppy and told her Id see her when I got home. Which sadly I did not. I came home to an empty mudroom, empty yard, no dog house, dog bed or happy dogs. Mom and Dad simply said they went to their new home. I didn't ask and don't want to know where that new home, I just want to think of them as happy. Also I finally made the very tough decision (after putting it off for weeks) of letting go of my boys. My two big lovable, sweet, dopes of horses. They have been the the loves of my life, silent listeners, best friends and have always done their best to understand the random commands I give them. They have been my closest companions for these past few year. They have heard me sing, cry, talk to myself, speak my mind, rant, and simply be still. I'm sure it's strange to hear me talk about a couple of horses like this but when a girl doesn't have much, she truly cherishes what she does have. Even though I'm devastated to see them go and feel like I'm letting go of my closest companions I know the time is right. So that right there is tough enough for a week, but life sure doesn't quit spinning when you want it to, no it just keeps on moving. Found out today that the art center where I take classes closes next month. I found a new love and talent in art that I will hopefully continue to nourish and grow even after the art center closes. Fighting with my little Eli tonight for the first time in a while, even had to pull the lame babysitter card and call his mom home early from bible study because he would not stop screaming. (I don't think Ive ever had to do that) This weeks writing assignment will be the death of me as writing essays is not my greatest strength in life. And as for sleep and rest during the night it is a foreign language to this tired vessel. I sleep and I have nightmares, I stay awake and I'm exhausted all day. I wake up to, lets just say, unpleasant conversations between my parents. The my love is drifting from me. Its been a hard rough week and I'm loosing my strength and ability to fight, which for me is rare, but I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength... I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.