A Woman of Many Talents and Traits

How many girls do you know that go to work in a shop? Im the only girl who works on the course. And Im surrounded by welders, grinders, torches, wrenches, screwdrivers, nut, bolts, gears, tractors, golf carts, lawn mowers, pointy, sharp, and other things that are potentially dangerous objects of mash destruction most of which need fixing. Well I do, and I know how to use and/or fix them all. I go to work with my Dad every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, he is the mechanic for the Canyon Springs Golf Course. I am able to go to work with him and learn all about mechanics and how things work, how to diagnose and fix a problem and how to do regular maintenance. Also I get to use a bunch of crazy tools and lean how to fabricate and engineer things. Although one of the greatest benefits is that it counts for school. I love my job especially the fact that I get to work with my Dad, we have an awesome shop and the coolest job ever!

Closing Doors

 **Warning slightly depressing but whats on my heart and mind**

*read at your own risk*

This week has been a rough one. There have definitely been highs to this week but also many lows. With coming back from camp and getting back into normal life its been pretty boring and a bit depressing. On top of that though I've had many doors close in my face or hit me in the butt on the way out. After many months of our dogs digging, jumping fences, and spending every moment of their lives trying to escape our yard we (mom and dad) decided it would be best for our sweet dogs, my baby girl, to find a new home. I left for camp saying goodbye to my sweet puppy and told her Id see her when I got home. Which sadly I did not. I came home to an empty mudroom, empty yard, no dog house, dog bed or happy dogs. Mom and Dad simply said they went to their new home. I didn't ask and don't want to know where that new home, I just want to think of them as happy. Also I finally made the very tough decision (after putting it off for weeks) of letting go of my boys. My two big lovable, sweet, dopes of horses. They have been the the loves of my life, silent listeners, best friends and have always done their best to understand the random commands I give them. They have been my closest companions for these past few year. They have heard me sing, cry, talk to myself, speak my mind, rant, and simply be still. I'm sure it's strange to hear me talk about a couple of horses like this but when a girl doesn't have much, she truly cherishes what she does have. Even though I'm devastated to see them go and feel like I'm letting go of my closest companions I know the time is right. So that right there is tough enough for a week, but life sure doesn't quit spinning when you want it to, no it just keeps on moving. Found out today that the art center where I take classes closes next month. I found a new love and talent in art that I will hopefully continue to nourish and grow even after the art center closes. Fighting with my little Eli tonight for the first time in a while, even had to pull the lame babysitter card and call his mom home early from bible study because he would not stop screaming. (I don't think Ive ever had to do that) This weeks writing assignment will be the death of me as writing essays is not my greatest strength in life. And as for sleep and rest during the night it is a foreign language to this tired vessel. I sleep and I have nightmares, I stay awake and I'm exhausted all day. I wake up to, lets just say, unpleasant conversations between my parents. The my love is drifting from me. Its been a hard rough week and I'm loosing my strength and ability to fight, which for me is rare, but I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength... I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Acceptance

Acceptance of yourself and your talents can be one of the hardest things for a person to do. Accepting your talents as a dancer, artist, or musician. Hardest thing for me to accept about myself this week was my voice. My brother got a new microphone and we decided to record an acoustic version of Seven Nation Army. I had to sing, record and listen to myself. This was very hard for me but I finally did it.

Secret Writer

There is a secret writer in all of us. How we get them out is the question. Some people can write essays, research papers, books, or short stories, but as for me I fail in all those categories. I can right out words in random blurts, not quite poems or lyrics but just random mumbling about a topic on my mind. But when I go back and read them I feel a little bit of pride swell up in me, I feel like I'm not entirely hopeless when it comes to writing. In my own special way I can express myself through words, almost in a poetic rhythmic sort of way but not to the point that I'm self contentious or worried about how it will sound to others. If I am ever to share my work then people will have to try and work through what I've wrote. If they can find some successful portion they will have been able to read what Is truly on my heart, in my mind and in my soul.

Confessions of a secret writer.