Turning the Page.

Well there goes another year, here and gone in the blink of an eye. As I wrap up this year and finish the pages of this chapter, I look forward to writing the next one. I'm excited to move on and see where the book of my life will go in this next year. Here I go turning the last page of the 15th chapter of my life and starting the pages to the 16th....

Words mean nothing to me.

Words, such silly things we use. We express ourselves through words, we say happy things, sad things, truthful things, sweet things, and the area I'm most experienced in hurtful things. Words used to be so great, the meanings were all so deep and to the point. They were used to express love, sadness, joy and could tell the most beautiful stories. But now words are shallow and don't serve much use, but people in my life sure have mastered the ability to use words to cause a lot of pain to those they love. Hard, cold, hurtful, rude words yelled at each other to find out who can twist beautiful words to hurt the other person the most in order to win. It's so easy for me to reject any loving words from people because I'm so used to words being used as knives to slowly etch their true meanings into my skin. The cut slowly and smoothly as I feel each letters true sting. But they scar over and somewhat heal, one day I'll try the soothing melodious words of love that I hear work wonders. All these words mean nothing to me. 

I am a lover of action. Try and catch me there. 

Survive

Im writing a short fictional story for school heres the beginning:

I woke up in a groggy daze, everything was a blur and hard to see. My eyes and throat burned and a fiery glow touched everything in sight. Confused and lost I fought my way to the bed next to mine, “Angelica get up!” I screamed. Frantically I shuffled through all her sheets she wasn’t there. The smoke flooded my lungs and made me choke.  I stumbled out into the hall and saw a million dancing demons race towards me with their flickering eyes of hell. I dart up the stairs “Momma! Papa!” I choke. I stand at the second story window, the old stained glass glows with vibrant color, and I’m trapped. The flames dance closer and begin to lick at my feet. The heat presses down on me making me heavy while the smoke lures my last short breaths out to play. I turn to the window and thrust all my weight into it once, twice, three times.  It erupts into a crystal shower and I soar through the air surrounded by a rainbow of glass. It was that sort of feeling you have when you wake up from a bad dream. But no, it wasn't a dream. I hit the ground and all my new breath flees from my lips. My eyes water from sheer pain and my breath goes in and out as sharp, shallow rasps. Then all went black.  I woke up to the sound of gruff voices, saying names I thought I recognized. My head was pounding as I tried to stand, “Come on girl get your wits about you” I thought to myself. I checke my watch, 1:42am, then I started listing off things I could remember, “Its October 22nd, well 23rd, Im staying at the Dryden home in New Brunswick. I arrived last night, no one knew I was coming, woke up, the house was on fire, and I jumped out a window. Yep that about covers it." I turned around to see the magnificent structure I had grown to love get swallowed up in flames. My attention then shifted back to the strange voices, I slowly walked towards the a big guy who looked like he was in charge. I heard him say “I was told the man, woman and little girl, then burn everything else to the ground.” “But Im sure there were four people inside.” Said a scrawny kid next to him. “Then make sure no one else comes out!” I took a few steps back and hid in the tall grass. "Who on earth are these people and why are they after my fam-... My friends?" I thought. The Drydens were the only family I knew, they were the only friends I had. When I was 9 years old, my parents left my brother and I with the Drydens for a weekend, but didn't come back. They took us in for three years treating us like their own. They taught us at home, we learned math, writing, reading, French, and basic survival skills. My brother took self defense classes and I started gymnastics. Seeing as we lived in the country side of New Brunswick we loved going on hikes and finding fun adventures. We knew the area like it was just a part of us. Then one day our parents just showed up and said we had to go, just packed our bags and left. They took us from our new family and gave no reason, and leaving my sweet Angelica tore me apart. She was my closest friend, my sweet little sister. We traveled to America and lived in almost every state. My brother kept taking self defense and martial arts classes and I was training to be an Olympic gymnast. But we never stayed in the same place for long. We lived like this for two and a half years. On Matthews 16th birthday my father took him out to breakfast really early. I patiently waited for them to come home and ended up falling asleep on the couch. I woke up to my parents talking in hushed tones at the table. They heard me wake up "Come here Anna," My dad said, "let's have a chat." "What's up?" I 

asked, "Today your brother Matthew joined a group of naturally gifted kids in signing on with a special Op group." My mother explained. "As of today your brother never existed." That was the day that I decided if my brother never existed than neither did I. I continued with my gymnastics, but dropped out from the Olympics and competitions all together. I had a natural ability to blend into the world and float around like a shadow, unseen and unheard. 

Sleep.

Sleep, stop taunting me if you're only going to scare me in my dreams. Sleep, don't come around if you never let me enjoy your company. Sleep, please don't tease me. All I want is to... just sleep.

So please leave me be, and let me sleep. 

What I can do.

Well seems like I just can't do anything right... Thanks for that.

I just can't please anyone can I? Thanks for that.

I'm silent and passive aggressive? You don't know how to fix that? Thanks for saying I'm a problem. 

I know what I can do. Stop being so stubborn, silent and passive aggressive. Forget all my problems and feeling and maybe I can finally fix yours. 

Blog post.

Blog post.

Just can't seem to write.

More to come. 

Whispers of Slumber

"Whispers of slumber come to me... Calm my mind and let me be"

The day is done. The night has come. I held it together, but now I can let my breaths out uncontrollably until they steady themselves into soft even whispers of slumber. The tears might flow and my mind might wander, but the whispers of slumber will calm my spirit and take me away. 

I am thankful for the end of today. 

A letter.

For some reason I really love letters! Seriously I don't even know why but letters and notes make me feel so happy! I get letters from my sweet friend Andie and they always make my day so much brighter. Having someone to write to, knowing she reads every word with as much joy as I have when Im writing them just makes me want to smile! And being able to write someone a short letter and finding out later that it was their first letter ever, that is a true blessing right there. The fact that something as simple as hand written words on a page can make someone feel loved, that makes me want to write all the time! Finding small notes from my favorite people, addressed to me, hidden in my room or other places, even just notes written for me, handed to me whatever are beyond amazing! I keep all my letters tucked away and reread them sometime when I need to be reminded Im loved. I even will write down encouraging, sweet or special texts and facebook messages people send me in my journal to have and be able to remember that people out there will take time to say something sweet to you. Knowing that some people care as much as I do that everyone in the world might be able to smile. If you ever want to do something random and kind for anyone (even me or some grumpy old man) try just writing them a simple note. It will change their whole day. Maybe even their whole life. You never know unless you try. And I will write a letter for any of you any day!

The World.

The world. What is it? What do we thrive on? What do we live for? Is it love? Money? Hope? Crime? Kindness? Want? The need to help others?  Or the want to please the world?

 The world is the people, the land, the thoughts, the workers, the helpers, the criminals, the heroes, the shapers, the destroyers, the ones who care, and the ones who don't. The world is what we want it to be... And how we want to be remembered. We want the world to have worth. We want to thrive.

What do we thrive on? The world thrives on money. Money is not bad, but the obsession with it that is the problem. The thought that to survive you must have money. The thought that without it you are nothing. The fact that the thought that runs through our head is that to do anything in this world, you must have money.  We see that the world  is run by the great thinkers, who think for profit. We see that the world is what the workers make it, but they work for money. We see that if you want something done it helps to have money. If you want to do something, it usually costs money. Nothing is really free anymore. Everything you ever want to do will cost you in some sort of way.The world is big on the idea of money. The world is big on the idea of profit. 

Everyone wants to profit from this world. But what if the world could profit from us?  This simple yet complicated idea has been ticking in my mind for quite awhile now. We always want to grow, profit, gain and conquer, we want to become something better. What if instead of changing the world, we worked on changing us? What if we made ourselves an example of what we want the world to be like? What if we were the people we wished there were? What if we were the change we wanted to see in the world? (A quote from Mahatma Gandhi) I think if e took this seriously we would see a change and the wold would follow.

An unfinished thought. I will think about this more and make another post soon Im sure. Stay tooned. And please leave me your thoughts on the subject. 

Season of Change

A season of change. Seems to be a normal saying for me. Chang is always afoot in my life and it is upon me yet again. I never expect things to stay the same for very long, and frankly I'm alright with that. Change is a part of life and a very big part of mine. I have a love hate relationship with change. I like change when it means new adventures, new laughs, and a new story waiting to be written. But I hat change when it means one of my favorite chapters in life have come to an end. This time around it is the latter of the two. I have many memories to look back at, lots of things Id prefer not to remember, things I will definitely miss and I'm very sad they have come to an end, things that have made me happy beyond belief, and things I will remember as meaningful lessons. I'm saying goodbye to some and tucking some away as my favorite memories. I do know though that to the end of every chapter, the turning of every page and with the last word of every sentence, there is always a beginning to another. As I write this next chapter I look forward to many adventures with new friends, new laughs, new memories and a new chapter to look back at and flip through in the future. I welcome you season of change with a firm grasp and a stare down to the end. I will make it through another chapter. 

A post for a Sunday

To make it prefect.

By: Mariah Thornquest

I draw myself a picture,
and erase all the hard lines.
I paint myself a portrait,
and blend all my colors.
I dream myself an idea,
and smooth out all the details.
I write myself a story,
and come up with the perfect end.
I sing myself a new song,
and make sure to check my key.
You drew a picture of me,
and left all the hard lines.
You paint a portrait of me,
and didn't blend the colors.
You dreamed the idea of me,
and knew all the details.
You write a story about me,
and already know the end.
You sang a song about me,
and knew the perfect key.
To make us perfect he left all the hard lines and
never blended colors.
He knows all the details so do not worry.
He knows the end of the story, so trust him to fulfill it.
And sing your songs to him and you will never be in the wrong key.
To him you are perfect, because that's how he made you to be.

Summer

Summertime oh summertime, it's been so long! This summer is going to be great, spent with lots of friends, playing music, going to youth group, swimming, eating, filled with laughter and many smiles! Already I have gone to a super fun bonfire and I had an amazing prom with all my favorite people! My expectations for this summer are not super high, but I just plan on enjoying myself and having so many adventures! Big and small. I'll be doing my usual hair wraps, hemp necklaces and now henna! Let the season of change begin! [=

See this girl right here, I love this girl! She is my best friend!

This kind fella took me to prom and was the best date ever! Thanks again Eli.

Some of the people in our crazy group

Look at these lovely ladies!

She is such a Babe!

Tears I cry.

A tear I have not shed.
They have not been know to me for quite a while.
Lately though I find it, oh so hard to smile.
Just too much to take.
I completely shut down.
No more smiles just a solid frown.
I keep a straight face or a partial smirk when people are around.
A tear I shed on this day.
I no longer can I keep my tears at bay.
I cry out all alone.
I wait until no one else is home.
The tears keep coming.
Please make them stop.
They start with one.
Then there's two.
The pour down my cheeks.
Down my nose.
They land on my hands, which rest gently in my lap.
I sit there quietly crying to myself.
Thinking about everything.
Now that they have started there seems no stopping them.
Everything that I've saved.
Everythig that I've tried to push away out of reach out of mind.
All that I haves to forget.
I just let loose and let it out.
All because of a tear I shed.
-Katnip.


I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today

Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts

I just want to know today, know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok

Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts

Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me please
Just give me back my pieces
And let me hold my broken parts

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok

Misunderstood.

It's been awhile since I last wrote and let me say that a lot has happened. Dad got squished by a bolder and when dad gets hurt that always means a lot of change. People come by more often, meals are provided for us, we get more responsibilities, and people change. Good change and bad change. I change. Mom changes. My siblings change. Everything changes. I'm not normal and I know it. I cope differently with change than most people, and people take it as something it's not. It's seen as rebellion, deceitfulness, being honoree, having a bad temper or being in a bad mood. I wonder if many people see me as this, having random mood changes and being two sided.
My mom is so amazing and has taken on so much. She is a caring wife and loving mother even when things get hard. She tries her hardest to keep life as normal as possible even as things change all the time. Recently I have been a problem. I have issues that I don't know how to work out really but I'm trying. There are things I'm confused about or working through. She has so much to deal with she doesn't need to add me to the mix. I can't do it all. I can't be everything people want me to be. The only way I can keep from shutting down completely it by getting away from everything... I have to be by myself just me and my music, I like the night too. I lay out on the trampoline and just zone out. I watch the stars (seen a few shooting stars too). I walk, usually just in my backyard (more of pacing I guess) the crisp cool air keeps me going and helps me think. I "sneak out and hide" apparently. But it just how I cope with things. I still can't hold it together though, I shut down anyways.
Yay look here you have it the Thornquest family, and there's the worst child Mariah. The hardest most difficult child, that we love but don't know what to do with because she is just nothing we have ever had to deal with before. That's what it would be be like if my family really knew me. Im different and I know it. I try and be normal and help out as much as I can, but I guess I'm more of a problem now than I have been before. Words are useless for me. I can't speak my mind or even have an opinion sometimes. If I said what went through my brain I wonder if my life would be any different. Who knows maybe one of these ill try...

It will be alright...

Keep your head up it will be alright.
Put your head down and keep moving it will be alright.
Push on it will be alright.
Hold still and listen it will be alright.
Just wait it will be alright.
Make a move it will be alright.
Just go for it, it will be alright.
What else can you tell me to contradict everything you've said before? Is it all a lie? You tell me how to make everything alright and tell me the exact opposite the next day. All you do is confuse me. How will I know it will be alright? Can I believe you when you hold me close and say to me "everything will be alright" or is it like every other time you've told me and changed your mind on how everything will be alright. Will I end up moving forward and just walk off a cliff? Or will I hold still and miss something? Will everything be alright? I will never know...

A Friend

I wish I was there. Sitting next to you. Holding you. Loving you. I wish I could just do more to help... I'm so far away I feel like there is nothing I can do. I just want to be there with you the second you say you need a friend. We have so many memories and it's sad that we won't be making as many. But I'll always be here for you the second you need me. You will always be my closest friends in life. I miss you friend...

-Written for two of the closest people I will ever have in my life.

Not the best day...

Not the best day... for a trip. Not the best day... for window washing. Not the best day... in our home. Not the best day... For family. Not the best day... for smiling. Not the best day... for talking. Not the best day... for seeing him. Not the best day... for seeing friends. Not the best day in general. But I guess you have to make the best out of it.

Conversations

Conversation- informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons; talk; colloquy. 

This definition makes conversation seem so easy. Just an informal interchange of thoughts, not too hard right? On the contrary a conversation can be so difficult, starting them, keeping them going, picking topics etc. And yet they are one of my favorite things. Talking to people is one of my favorite pass times, hearing about their day, listening to a story or a joke and even talking just to kill the silence. The funny thing is I think people like to talk to me just as much as I like to talk to them. Everyone I know, even if I don't know them that well, open up to me. They are comfortable and willing to just talk to me about their life. I have heard about so many adventures and hardships people have experienced. I'm truly blessed to have this gift of communicating with people. :)  

 

Beautiful

Do you ever have one of those days when you just feel beautiful? Not actually on the outside or your appearance but just in the world. You let go and don't care about how you look when the window is down and your hair just blows around everywhere. But instead you just watch the world go by, listen to the passing cars, the blowing wind, people talking and laughing, and just watch life as it happens. You get to see and feel real beauty. The the sun gently rests on you, the wind softly brushes past you whispering sweet words in your ears, and you hear the soft rustle of the trees. When you run into an old friend, sharing a smile or a hug, hearing a laugh, just being part of the world. That what makes me feel beautiful.

9 months

I never really think about how old I am or how old I will be on my next birthday. I never make a count down from one year to another. I just live life going from day to day. But my dad made me laugh when he brought up the fact that I will be turning 16 this year, here's why...

My dad says "Mariah in 9 months you will be 16! That's about how long a pregnancy is. So it's kind of like you are pregnant."
I responded with "Yes dad I will be 16 in 9 months, but I am most defiantly not pregnant!"
He says "No no its totally like you're pregnant. You just conceived the thought that you will be 16 and you have about 9 months to prepare. This starts your first trimester, you'll start to feel sick just thinking about being 16. You will worry about everything changing and how it's a big step that comes with big responsibilities. Next you'll head into your second trimester, right about when summer starts. So you'll be just fine and a little excited. You'll just enjoy the time you have left as a fifteen. But then your third trimester... You'll be ready for 16. You are just done with fifteen. You want your license and a boyfriend and whatever else comes with 16. You'll plan a party and worry about where the party will be, who will be there, and what you'll wear. Then BAM! Your birthday comes and you are 16!! Everything's over. Just like that all the planning and worrying over with. After 9 long months one day is all it takes and you are 16."
"...." I have no responds and just stare at him blankly...
Dad "See totally works. Just like you are pregnant."
I just say "... It's so weird that what you just said makes total sense."

I love how my dad can think of this and totally make sense our of it. I guess I'm pregnant now... Not sure how I feel about this. ;)

Sing a New Song

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

The Call by Regina Spektor

A Woman of Many Talents and Traits

How many girls do you know that go to work in a shop? Im the only girl who works on the course. And Im surrounded by welders, grinders, torches, wrenches, screwdrivers, nut, bolts, gears, tractors, golf carts, lawn mowers, pointy, sharp, and other things that are potentially dangerous objects of mash destruction most of which need fixing. Well I do, and I know how to use and/or fix them all. I go to work with my Dad every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, he is the mechanic for the Canyon Springs Golf Course. I am able to go to work with him and learn all about mechanics and how things work, how to diagnose and fix a problem and how to do regular maintenance. Also I get to use a bunch of crazy tools and lean how to fabricate and engineer things. Although one of the greatest benefits is that it counts for school. I love my job especially the fact that I get to work with my Dad, we have an awesome shop and the coolest job ever!

Closing Doors

 **Warning slightly depressing but whats on my heart and mind**

*read at your own risk*

This week has been a rough one. There have definitely been highs to this week but also many lows. With coming back from camp and getting back into normal life its been pretty boring and a bit depressing. On top of that though I've had many doors close in my face or hit me in the butt on the way out. After many months of our dogs digging, jumping fences, and spending every moment of their lives trying to escape our yard we (mom and dad) decided it would be best for our sweet dogs, my baby girl, to find a new home. I left for camp saying goodbye to my sweet puppy and told her Id see her when I got home. Which sadly I did not. I came home to an empty mudroom, empty yard, no dog house, dog bed or happy dogs. Mom and Dad simply said they went to their new home. I didn't ask and don't want to know where that new home, I just want to think of them as happy. Also I finally made the very tough decision (after putting it off for weeks) of letting go of my boys. My two big lovable, sweet, dopes of horses. They have been the the loves of my life, silent listeners, best friends and have always done their best to understand the random commands I give them. They have been my closest companions for these past few year. They have heard me sing, cry, talk to myself, speak my mind, rant, and simply be still. I'm sure it's strange to hear me talk about a couple of horses like this but when a girl doesn't have much, she truly cherishes what she does have. Even though I'm devastated to see them go and feel like I'm letting go of my closest companions I know the time is right. So that right there is tough enough for a week, but life sure doesn't quit spinning when you want it to, no it just keeps on moving. Found out today that the art center where I take classes closes next month. I found a new love and talent in art that I will hopefully continue to nourish and grow even after the art center closes. Fighting with my little Eli tonight for the first time in a while, even had to pull the lame babysitter card and call his mom home early from bible study because he would not stop screaming. (I don't think Ive ever had to do that) This weeks writing assignment will be the death of me as writing essays is not my greatest strength in life. And as for sleep and rest during the night it is a foreign language to this tired vessel. I sleep and I have nightmares, I stay awake and I'm exhausted all day. I wake up to, lets just say, unpleasant conversations between my parents. The my love is drifting from me. Its been a hard rough week and I'm loosing my strength and ability to fight, which for me is rare, but I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength... I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Acceptance

Acceptance of yourself and your talents can be one of the hardest things for a person to do. Accepting your talents as a dancer, artist, or musician. Hardest thing for me to accept about myself this week was my voice. My brother got a new microphone and we decided to record an acoustic version of Seven Nation Army. I had to sing, record and listen to myself. This was very hard for me but I finally did it.

Secret Writer

There is a secret writer in all of us. How we get them out is the question. Some people can write essays, research papers, books, or short stories, but as for me I fail in all those categories. I can right out words in random blurts, not quite poems or lyrics but just random mumbling about a topic on my mind. But when I go back and read them I feel a little bit of pride swell up in me, I feel like I'm not entirely hopeless when it comes to writing. In my own special way I can express myself through words, almost in a poetic rhythmic sort of way but not to the point that I'm self contentious or worried about how it will sound to others. If I am ever to share my work then people will have to try and work through what I've wrote. If they can find some successful portion they will have been able to read what Is truly on my heart, in my mind and in my soul.

Confessions of a secret writer.

Moving is Adventurous

Today was the big moving day we moved it all and I learned a lot. 

1. Moving is a painful and hard job to accomplish.

2. When you get all Jordan's friends together to help move life instantly becomes a comedy show. And involves strange tasks such as everything must be done shirt less. After every task you must flex your muscles and yell something awesome (all man like you know).

3. It is really hard to fast while moving. (I broke my fast...)

4. When moving a large chicken coop one does not simply carry it with seven me and one girl (me). You must lift it over your head over the fence. 

5. You will get completely covered in chicken poop.

6. Cops find it really funny when you walk down the street with chickens. It makes their day. 

7. I can kick but at moving and move everything a guy can ^_^ (Bragging about myself because I feel pretty badass)

8. Riding a bike in winter makes you get strange looks from people.

9. Moving in winter makes thing wet and icy. Which means accidents are going to happen.

10. You will get cuts and scrapes and other injuries while moving in winter.

11. My family can be called moving ninjas. We moved our entire house and un packed in a week and a half. Beat that. :) 

Moving is always an adventure especially with my family. Now off to the Little Mermaid to see a dear friend perform. 

Facebooking from a fort

Sanctuary... is a word which here means a small, safe place in a troubling world. Like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea. 
~Lemony Snicket

Facebooking from a fort today and its been a great time! Building one with the Gardner boys today was really fun. It made me think of a lot of great memories I have of building forts with my family when I was little. When my dad would decide to pull out all the blankets and push all of our living room and dining room furniture into the middle of the room and we would spend an evening building a fort. Or I always had bunk beds growing up and tuking some blankests in under the top mattress was a fort we often put together. Sometimes we would just build it then take it down or we might spend the night in it and make each other laugh. these are some of my best memories with my family and now I get to make some new ones with my favorite little monsters. Even though the exitement of the fort only lasted through the building process and a few minutes inside it was still nice to see the boys get exctied over a ladder, a pile of blankets and a dozen chairs. Not to mention taking a break from moving. And yet I built the fort for the boys I've been the only one in hear for the last hour. Makes me want to hide in a fort for an hour every week :)    

All of us inside :)

Mad faces because our brothers broke the fort.

Moving.

Oh the joys of moving. Really raise your hand if you enjoy packing up everything you own, putting it in a truck or trailer and then taking all of it to a different house to undo everything you just did. (If you are raising your hand please put it down you probably look very silly.) Even though I am not a fan of moving I am a fan of adventures and moving can turn out to be a good one. You are able to see the meaning for the phrase "Home is wherever I'm with you." Wherever my family is that is my home. Whether its our own home, a 900square foot rental, or a yurt. Because anywhere can become a home when it is filled with laughter, smiles, family, friends, music, and anything in between. During this moving adventure my mom made a very true and profound statement about me. After helping my mom get her new mattress and box spring (by help I mean catch them from the second story balcony of our friends house and carry them to the trailer). As we drove home my Mom says "Riah most girls are dainty and girly or total tomboys but not you. You got a good dosage of sweet and dainty and pure badass." I could really see what she meant. With dad being broken and mom having a cold Jordan and I have been most of the muscle this move. We have had a lot of experience moving and know how mom likes things done so for the most part its been painless. Mady still whines and hates to move, Jordan doesn't want to give up his man cave, and I am tired physically and mentally from moving but in the end we are all excited about moving into the "little house" as it is rightly called. Let the wind blow you to your next adventure. Signing off Riah.

Stuff...

As we are in the process of moving and packing I realize how much stuff I have. Not useful things or things I like just random stuff. The type of things that make you go "Why the heck do I have this?" or " What on earth is this thing?" Just the things that make you question yourself and your sanity. And yet I am trying to understand why I emotionally attach myself to things. Small things that I find myself keeping every time we move or purge. Somethings I can find some reason to justify keeping them such as a willow tree angel that my mom gave me that always makes me smile and reminds me that summer is coming. But I have other things like a set of wooden painted blocks with greenery and scripty vinyl words, or stuffed animals that I got from some person sometime ago. But they all have enough meaning to me that I have held on to them for one more move. Where I'm going to put all this stuff in our tiny new house I don't know but I'll find a place somewhere.

Time Fly's When You're Having Fun...

Boy its been awhile... Life has been keeping me busy and its constantly turning. Lets see since my last post I've competed in Miss Magic Valley Outstanding Teen, joined a new youth group called iConnect, gone to camp a few times, had a trip to vegas, flew for the first time alone, and we have moved. We moved to a little house on 7th ave in June of 2012, and we are now on the way to another little back on 5th ave. Its one Im quite familiar with, I've spent many summer nights in the back yard deep in discussion with my favorite people, meals eaten at the large farm table, and movie nights in the living room. A house filled with laughter, music, sweet friends and family. The Gardner's moved to 7th at the same time we did and now their renting their old house to our family. We are moving into our new house within the next week. Here is to new adventures!